Pairing Wine With 1990s Sitcoms Married... With Children

Married... With Children

Love and marriage,
Love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage…

Has Frank Sinatra ever been used in a more ironic way?

I loved this show. Al Bundy was a hero of mine, but not in the traditional way we think of heroes. He was everything—literally, everything—I did not want to be. He hated his job. He barely put up with his wife. No one respected him, least of all his family. He was perhaps television’s greatest all-time cautionary tale.

And I loved him for it.

Sure, there were times when the Bundys put aside their nigh-sociopathic vitriol for not just one another, but for people as a whole, and came together as a family. Chants of “Whoooooooaa BUNDY!” were rare but certainly not unheard of. Peg certainly was in love with Al, even against her own better judgment most of the time. And the kids, Kelly and Bud, were reminded on occasion that their parents loved them, and that they required their assistance to live.

Yes, even you, Grandmaster B.

The show followed the trials and tribulations of the mythical Bundy family. Al and Peggy, and their kids, Kelly and Bud. The Bundys live in suburban Chicago, and are pretty much loathed by everyone. Al sells women’s shoes at the local mall, and hates it. He still lives in the past, when as the star running back for Polk High, he scored four touchdowns in one game: the 1966 city championship against rival Johnson High.

He will remind anyone of this fact, any time. It’s quite literally all he’s got left. The show opened with the famous dulcet tones of one Frank Sinatra:

So what wine could possibly go with this show? I doubt Al Bundy ever drank a single sip of wine in his life.

But Peg probably drank a lot of boxed wine.

Doesn’t matter the type, barely matters what it tastes like. It’s plonk, but it’s cheap and it’s plentiful and it takes longer to run out of it, which necessitates a trip to the store. This is akin to work, and is therefore something Peggy Bundy abhors.

So that’s the pairing: boxed wine. Don’t care which, because I bet Peg Bundy didn’t care, either.

Some boxed wines I can heartily recommend… avoiding:

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